For anyone who thought, or for that matter hoped, As I Lay Dying vocalist Tim Lambesis would be having a rough time adjusting to the ‘shank or be shanked’ lifestyle of prison, think again. Though he probably didn’t realise it at the time, the front man posted an extensive how-to guide for prison workout tips on Tumblr a full year before being locked up.
Working out was an important part of the vocalists life. Described as an obsession by his estranged wife Meggan in court documents, Lambesis goes into thorough detail on his Tumblr post explaining he’s “no authority on this stuff’ but continues to explain that “there are always the basics you can do in any prison cell (or backstage room).”
The post also includes tips for “upper back day”, safety tips and casual references to just how focused Lambesis was on the topic. This includes his confession that “I have a small man’s complex at 6’3” and admitting that he has “no practical reason for getting in great shape other than for intimidating girly men in the front row at Austrian Death Machine shows”.
Had Lambesis not been arrested for conspiring to have his wife whacked, this would be just a another ordinary post on Tumblr but the situation as it is certainly casts a creepy shadow.
Check out the full post below:
“Every time I leave for a tour I have to get creative with what we call “prison style” workouts. I don’t claim to be the authority on this stuff at all, so I’m seeking advice as much as I am dishing it out. For starters, there are always the basics you can do in any prison cell (or backstage room).
– pushups (clap pushups, triangle, wide grip, etc.)
– abs (crunches, jackknives, leg raises, bicycles, planks, etc)
– chair dips for triceps
– lifting luggage for biceps
– jump squats
– handstand presses for shoulders
I’ll be really up front about that fact that I haven’t been able to gain a noticeable amount of muscle doing any of these things. All of these exercises really only help me maintain what I’ve been able to do from real gym workouts while off tour. These type of workouts can certainly help a person tighten up, get stronger, and get in great shape overall though. To actually build bigger muscle though, you have to lift an amount of weight that can take that muscle all the way to failure, usually in under 12 reps. That’s why the hardest thing for me is putting on size.
When I do get the chance off of tour at my local gym, the idea is to completely tear down a muscle by hitting it from a minimum of three different angles. An example on an upper back day would be to do vertical pull downs, high rows with different widths to the grip, and also low rows. The weight I would try to use would be whatever is heavy enough that I can’t do over 12 reps and sometimes as low as 4. Also, to cause my muscles to full break down and fail, I often need a spotter to force me to do at least one or two more reps than what my body can handle on its own.
Those are the basic principle I work out by. I’m curious to get other peoples opinions since there are thousands of people who swear they know best at my gym alone. I also don’t recommend anyone lifting weights that way if they haven’t already done other simpler exercises to get the muscles used to the pressure before going for heavy weight. I’ve only been working out for under a year and at that only about three times a week. Most people try to overdue it and get hurt. If you’re new to this, then do more full body (crossfit, kettlebells, etc) type workouts for at least three months before trying to look like Ahhnold. In my year of working out, I personally spent the first six months or so dabbling in a variety of kettlebells and prison style workouts while on tour so that my body was ready for what I’m trying to do now.
Lastly, either be an athlete or just admit that working out is mainly for vanity. Simply being healthy requires eating healthy and jogging your butt around the block from time to time. I admit that I have no practical reason for getting in great shape other than for intimidating girly men in the front row at ADM shows. Ahhnold still intimidates me, so I have a small man’s complex at 6’3”. My saving grace is that I’ve picked up a number of other hobbies to balance out my meathead ways. Check out documentaryheaven.com and come talk to me about something new you’ve learned at one the upcoming AILD shows. Overall, I’d rather talk about documentaries and/or charities than I would protein shakes.”
Via (Under The Gun)