Henry Rollins will be making a triumphant return to The Project tonight, only this time he’ll be elevated from the status of mere guest, to esteemed co-host. If you caught his stint during his last appearance, you’ll know full well why this could be the greatest decision ever made on Australian TV.
During his first appearance last week, Rollins managed to single handedly rip apart one of our biggest social dilemmas – same sex marriage. In his renown deadpan and legendary no-fucking-around tone, Rollins decried our current debate on the topic as “below the intellectual quotient of the conversation that Australia should be having, now and forever.”
The concise and brutally honest assessment from a man who is literally toughness personified may be just the thing needed to get through to the dense, vocal minority. Then we started thinking, what other issues could use Rollins’ booming baritone? What could Rollins’ speak up about tonight?
Lockout Laws
Well, where the fuck else would we start? The lockout laws have become one of the most contested issues in the country with both NSW and QLD falling victim to them. In NSW, the premiere Mike Baired has copped Casino Mike as a nickname and his punitive measures have reduced a world city to a ghost town. We seriously need you on this one Rollins.
The New And ‘Improved’ Shapes Flavours
Surely once we Gen Yers are in power, people will be hung for this. Rollins has been here several times and you know he must enjoy a handful of Chicken Crimpy Shapes. I’d hate to be Arnotts when he goes to get his fix this time…
Australian Reality TV
It’s no secret Australia has a habit of making television series based on just about anything that happens (think Underbelly, Blue Murder, Howzat! Kerry Packer’s War) but when we decide to film things as they happen, it’s just so uniquely cringeworthy. Our nasally accent and penchant for a loveable dingus just can’t compare with the effortless cool in the Hollywood equivalent, hey Rollins?
Australian Netflix
Sure, we might be able to watch him in Sons Of Anarchy and Downloaded, or in the far more questionable Last Heist and He Never Died, but that’s all the Rollins we can see on our crappy Netflix selection. What about Heat? What about The Lost Highway? Eh?
Matt Damon Saying He Channelled Rollins In Eurotrip
During his recent AMA Matt Damon finally addressed his cameo in culturally significant coming of age epic Eurotrip. Apparently, he was harnessing his best ‘Howard Rollins’ to become the rebel front-man of the band performing Scotty Doesn’t Know. Is this the least convincing homage you’ve seen in your life, Rollins?
