As an inspirational meme that my auntie posted on Facebook once said:
Right on, Doris.
Anyway, that’s why you gotta hand it to the ballsy 16-year-old megafan who just tried to bribe Peking Duk to play his house party by offering them a payload of drugs and booze.
The budding Van Wilder Party Liaison had the cojones to message the band directly via Facebook pleading for their help, much like the poverty-stricken parents of terminally ill child might message Oprah.
Except instead of life-saving medical treatment, old mate was appealing to the electrolords to help him throw the most lit bash of 2016.
The stakes were pretty high, as the highschooler explained to Reuben Styles & Adam Hyde in his written proposal, since he’d be backing up a previous rager that had already netted him plenty of great feedback (not to mention “pussy”).
Plus, he’d already lined up a load of strippers and fire twirlers for his next go at it:
Unfortunately for Australia’s probable next Corey Worthington, there was one massive dealbreaker for the Duk:
“No deal bro where’s the fkn fairy bread,” they posted on Facebook by way of response.
We all know Peking Duk lead the bloody charge when it comes to #turntgoals, just take a look at their last crazy-ass tour video for FFS.
They even once invited a fan to share some tinnies in their greenroom after he ingeniously conned his way backstage by changing their Wikipedia page to list himself as one of their relos.
But big ups to the lads for not promoting underage drinking (or parties that overlook the awesomeness of fairy bread).
Better luck next time, m8. Stay in school.