Dave Chappelle hosted Saturday Night Live over the weekend, following Joe Biden’s election victory. There for his second time hosting the show, Chappelle addressed Trump, COVID, and politics in his opening monologue.
The monologue begins with Chappelle saying, “Thank you all for being here. Pretty incredible day.”
He goes on to talk about a text he received from a friend who’s based in London. She said, “The world feels like a safer place now that America has a new president.”
“Do you guys remember what life was like before COVID? I do,” he pauses.
“It was a mass shooting every week… Thank god for COVID. Something had to lock these murderous whites up, keep them in the house.”
He moves on to talk about Trump.
“Now Trump is gone,” he says. “I know a lot of people don’t like him, I thought the guy was at least an optimist.”
“I am not as optimistic as he was. I look at it as there are bad people on both sides,” he says to silence.
“All right, just trying it out.”
He remembers how Trump called the coronavirus “Kung-flu”, “And I said, ‘you racist, hilarious son of a bitch, I’m meant to say that, not you.'”
“Donald Trump’s a wild guy,” he says before recalling Trump spitballing coronavirus cure ideas in a live press conference.
“How about some bleach? Some bleach directly in our body. Oh boy, the Secret Service is going to have to childproof the White House now … ‘Mr. President, don’t touch that stove, it’s hot. Turn those scissors around, Mr. President, if you’re going to run around the house.”
He goes on to mock the fact that the departing president got coronavirus calling it “hilarious”.
“Trump getting the coronavirus was like when Freddie Mercury got AIDS,” says Chappelle.
“Nobody was like, ‘Well how did he get it?’ This guy was running around like the outbreak monkey, he looked like a 1970s penis just raw-dogging Earth.”
Chappelle reminisces on how after Trump contracted coronavirus and received top care, he headed back to the White House and spread the virus further.
He compares it to taking a bag of hamburgers to a homeless shelter, eating them all, and saying, “These are mine. Don’t let hunger dictate your life.”
Towards the end, Dave Chappelle pitches the “Kindness Conspiracy”.
“Random acts of kindness for Black people,” he explains. “Do something nice for a Black person just because they’re black. And you gotta make sure they don’t deserve it.”
“The same way all them years they did terrible things to Black people just because they’re Black, and they didn’t deserve it.”