Narc parents, strict teachers, unsatisfied lovers. All your life they’re been telling you to turn off that racket and go get a job. Well, now you can shove it in their collective faces ’cause your years of keeping it real have finally paid off. Right now there is a position available on Seek (see below) for a dedicated ‘Fist Pumper’.
This is one job opportunity those educated, civilised automatons don’t have the
stomach beer gut for. To apply you’ll have to check your availability for Wednesday, 22nd October, make sure you’re in Melbourne, and be fan of Australian rockers Bloods and stage-trashers The Vines.
The successful applicant will be able to deal with the rigours of the front row due to their “advanced diploma in circle pit”, “technical knowledge in handling bodies overhead”, and being over 18 years old (sorry kiddos).
If at this point you’re scratching your well-banged head, thinking how your wildest lay-about dreams have come true, scratch no more. The position is actually part of Converse Australia’s SNEAKERS WOULD campaign, which will see the sneaker spruiker hosting spontaneous gigs in Melbourne, Sydney, and New Zealand during October and November.
So how do you get there? All you have to do is get those resumes in order. Don’t worry if you blow the interview — Converse are offering other ways of obtaining tickets. Check your qualifications below.