We’ve all had a cheeky laugh at the thought of something horrible happening to old mate Justin Bieber. Most of us LOL’d pretty hard when he walked into that glass screen. Or when he threw up on stage – it was gross…but hilarious. However, I think we all draw the line at murder and castration. All of us bar three seriously fucked-up dudes. Like, seriously fucked-up.
It was revealed some months back that a group of men in the US had begun plotting the murder and castration of the tween sensation, but authorities have now released audio recordings of conversations between inmate Dana Martin, his old jail buddy Mark Staake and Staake’s nephew, Tanner Ruane, as they started piecing together their plan.
Martin, who is serving time for the rape and murder of a 15-year-old girl (and apparently has Bieber’s face tattooed on him) can be heard asking Ruane, “Did he go over the Bieber thing with you?” Ruane, an apparent professional hitman, responded, “Nah. The way I like to work dude, I like to know as little as possible,” adding, “He’s gonna use one of the things you gave him, and then he’s gonna take care of it.”
Not that you’d need much more confirmation on the matter, authorities at the Southern New Mexico Correctional Facility have confirmed that “take care of it” means kill the Biebs and his bodyguard. And here is where shit goes from Law And Order: Criminal Intent to Law And Order: SVU.
Ruane can be heard saying, “We went and bought the hedge clippers.” What on earth would they need hedge clippers for? I’ll give you two guesses. “You’re gonna give me 5 large ($5,000) for each one I get,” he concludes. Those are some pretty valuable testicles.
Now, I’m going to interject here. I hate to be “that guy” but c’mon! I’ve seen Oz. How could they ever have gotten away with casually mentioning this shit on the phone? Anyway…I digress.
Martin also gave the men some fairly detailed instructions on how to kill the victims, which were referred to as “the pitbulls”. Using Martin’s signature paisley scarf, the pair were instructed to, “Tie it really tight, and that cuts off all the oxygen, and then tie it in the back again, really tight. That seals the deal.” But before said deal could in fact, be sealed, the pair of would be Bieber-killers took a wrong turn and ended up getting nabbed by Canadian Border Patrol.
Bieber, your balls are still safe for another day, it seems. You can hear the recordings over at KOAT.