It’s T-minus (checks calendar, panics slightly) NINE MONTHS until heavy metal titans Iron Maiden storm back into Australia for their absolutely colossal 50th Anniversary Run For Your Lives tour – headlining stadiums, dragging along Megadeth, and generally reminding us all that subtlety has never been part of the Maiden brand.
And if you’re a Maiden fan, then you already know what this means.
It means we must prepare ourselves.
Not just for the galloping basslines. Not just for the inflatable Eddies. Not just for the stadium-scale theatrics.
But for the return of Bruce Dickinson.
Yes – THE Bruce Dickinson. Air-raid-siren frontman. The only human alive who can sprint across a stadium stage for two hours straight while hitting notes that could summon medieval spirits.
Non-Maiden devotees may not fully grasp the magnitude of what’s approaching our shores in November 2026.
So allow us to very possibly save your life.
Bruce Dickinson is the Chuck Norris of heavy metal. In fact, he is the only person in the world that Chuck Norris checks under his bed for at night.
Because Bruce Dickinson is not just the frontman of one of the most iconic heavy metal bands of all time.
He’s also…
1. A Commercial Pilot & Marketing Director
Most Maiden fans know that Bruce Dickinson is a fully licensed airline pilot. He regularly flew Boeing 757s in his role as a captain for the now-defunct UK charter airline Astraeus, which also employed him as their Marketing Director for two years.
But did you know that Bruce Dickinson has also been in the cockpit for multiple high profile military and commercial voyages, including the time he returned a group of British RAF pilots home from Afghanistan in 2008, 200 UK citizens home from Lebanon during the Israel/Hezbollah conflict in 2006, and 180 stranded holiday makers home from Egypt following the collapse of XL Airways in September of 2008?
Bruce Dickinson’s fearsome aeronautical skills were also called upon to fly football giants Rangers F.C. and Liverpool F.C. to away matches in Israel and Italy during the same time period.
It is said that volcanoes inquire about Bruce Dickinson’s flight patterns before they erupt so as not to disturb him.
2. An Endangered Turtle Rescuer
Bruce Dickinson was recently involved in a noble mission to fly a sick, endangered turtle named Terri from New Jersey all the way back to his home on the Canary Islands. Bruce Dickinson volunteered his private jet for the task, and though it is not yet known whether Bruce Dickinson piloted the aircraft himself, of course he did.
Some scientists hypothesise that there is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals that Bruce Dickinson allows to live.
3. An Actual Doctor
As well as graduating university with a degree in history, Bruce Dickinson was awarded an honorary doctorate of music by London’s Queen Mary College in 2011.
Now every appointment that Bruce Dickinson goes to is a doctor’s appointment.
4. An Olympic-Level Fencer
In 1989, Bruce Dickinson was ranked seventh in all of Great Britain. Legend has it that Bruce Dickinson was even invited to join the British Olympic team, but declined due to Iron Maiden’s touring commitments.
There are also rumours that Bruce Dickinson once challenged Superman to a sword fight and the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.
5. A Military Veteran
Bruce Dickinson proved that he is not afraid to fight for what’s right, spending a short amount of time with the Territorial Army, a part-time voluntary section of the British Armed forces, prior to his university studies and achievement of global domination via heavy metal.
However please note that historical records show Bruce Dickinson didn’t join the Territorial Army – the Territorial Army briefly joined Bruce Dickinson.
6. An Accomplished Screenwriter
Bruce Dickinson co-authored the script for the 2008 film Chemical Wedding about infamous alchemist and satanist Aleister Crowley.
The most incredible thing about this is that Bruce Dickinson didn’t even lift a finger to write the script. The words simply assembled themselves out of fear.
7. A Radio DJ
Bruce Dickinson presented Bruce Dickinson’s Friday Rock Show on BBC radio for eight years straight between 2002 and 2010. When the station axed the show, Bruce Dickinson hit them with a very public “Fuck you” by blasting the Johnny Paycheck version of Take This Job and Shove It live on air during his final episode.
Bruce Dickinson always has the last laugh.
8. An Ale Brewer
Bruce Dickinson worked alongside England’s Robinson’s brewery in 2013 to formulate Maiden’s signature The Trooper ale, whose sheer potency makes it virtually un-neckable.
Bruce Dickinson wants to develop more beers in the future which may or may not be carbonated with nitroglycerin.
9. A Tank Owner
Bruce Dickinson is the proud owner of a T34 Soviet tank, meaning he now makes as much noise on the road as he does on stage.
Speaking of roads, there was once a road named after Bruce Dickinson but they had to change it, because no one crosses Bruce Dickinson and lives.
10. Beaten Cancer
Bruce Dickinson beat the shit out of his tongue-cancer diagnosis last year, which he apparently contracted in the first place from eating too much Maiden IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Scientists believe that Bruce Dickinson’s tears may actually hold the cure for cancer. Which is too bad, because Bruce Dickinson has never cried.
11. And All This After Getting Expelled From Boarding School
Bruce Dickinson got kicked out after taking a piss in his headmaster’s soup (totally legit).
Bruce Dickinson also once took a piss on a semi-truck’s gas tank as a joke… That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Iron Maiden 50th Anniversary Australian Tour Dates
With Megadeth
- Wednesday 11 November – Adelaide – Adelaide Entertainment Centre
- Friday 13 November- Melbourne – AAMI Park
- Sunday 15 November – Sydney – Allianz Stadium
- Wednesday 18 November – Brisbane – Brisbane Entertainment Centre
A Telstra Plus member pre-sale commences Wednesday 4th March, visit www.telstra.com/tickets.
General public tickets go on sale on Friday 6th March, visit: www.ironmaiden.com or www.tegdainty.com for further information.
Further Reading
Iron Maiden Are Taking A Stand On Dynamic Ticket Pricing
