NewsWritten by Music Feeds on September 9, 2015
The AFL has copped it from pretty much all directions since unveiling its 2015 Grand Final lineup featuring X Factor Judge Chris Isaak, British electro-pop star Ellie Goulding and your mum’s teenage crush, Bryan Adams.
You’ll note there that not one single homegrown artist made the cut, even though we’re talking about the Australian – Football – League here. SMDH
We’re not the first to call on the AFL to make a change in the name of musical patriotism; a petition asking the AFL to use homegrown talent for its Grand Final entertainment has been around since April, and Aussie music fans have been calling out for some locals to clear our minds of that Meat Loaf disaster for years.
So to let the AFL know what it’s missing out on, Music Feeds has compiled a list of locals who really should be taking the stage at year’s season-ending match, and who by all rights should have made the cut over Mr Wicked Games – sorry mum.
That’s right, we’re serving up a sweet bowl of regretfast to the AFL so that the country can have a long hard think about what could have been.
So without further ado, here are 15 Aussie acts the AFL should have booked for the 2015 Grand Final, but for some reason didn’t.
Tonight Alive: They're one of Australia's finest pop punk exports and as anyone present during their Soundwave sets can attest, they put on one hell of a show.
TISM: This IS Serious Mum. Who better to pump up a legion of footy-mad punters than seven masked lunatics singing and dancing to 'Whatareya? (You’re A Yob or You’re A Wanker)'. It’s basically the ultimate rival team sledge anthem.
AC/DC: This one’s a gimme. How could you go past the most legendary Aussie rock act of all time? Every one of their songs is basically its own sporting anthem. They’ve even got a new single actually called 'Play Ball'. Case dismissed.
Courtney Barnett: This earth-conquering Melbourne muso’s trademark ocker accent would, if nothing else, put the “Aussie” in “Aussie Rules”.
King Parrot: OK, so this would never, in a million years, happen. The Melbourne grind-thrash devils would terrify footy families to within an inch of their sausage roll-eating lives. BUT JUST THINK OF HOW AWESOME IT WOULD BE.
Shannon Noll: Nollsy is a total no-brainer. OK forget the NRL debacle, your mum still loves him just as much as Bryan Adams. Plus, he’s still a better singer than Meat Loaf and he probably owns more motorcycles.
Heaven The Axe: This Melbourne metal powerhouse – who you may or may not know as the architects of the hilarious 'Bogan Hunters' theme song- is packing one of the only Aussie female singers who can truly inflict some damage with her vocals. Heaven The Axe would inject some much-needed girl power into proceedings, but with the kind of rock n' roll ferocity that would make Ellie Goulding – and probably your favourite AFL team – crap their pants.
5SOS: Would help thousands of dads realise their teenage daughters actually have a keen interest in Aussie Rules.
Adalita: Not only does the Magic Dirt frontwoman boast one of the best voices in Aussie rock, she's also got solid AFL ties, having played the Reclink Community Cup twice now. That's two more times than Chris Isaak, btw.
Grinspoon: They're (thankfully) already reuniting for the Cold Chisel tour, what's one more show for the sake of the rest of the country? Who's up for a mass 'More Than You Are' sing-a-long?
Taxiride: THEY ARE HERE BECAUSE WE MISS TAXIRIDE AND FRANKLY WOULD JUST LIKE TO SEE TAXIRIDE PLAY AGAIN PLEASE.
Pond: Apart from being total elite musos, Pond have already shown their passion for the game with a cover of the their local team Fremantle’s theme song. Plus what better way to fire up before the Granny than a trip down the psychedelic rabbit hole?
Spiderbait: They're noted footy fiends - like they even have a song called 'Footy' - as well as being, you know, Australian rock royalty. Plus, last year Kram played as part of an Aussie supergroup in Brazil for the World Cup festivities. Maybe let's follow South America's lead on this Australia.
Stonefield: The #AFLGF is a family-friendly day and therefore needs more family bands. There's no-one better to fill that quota than The Findlay sisters aka Stonefield aka purveyors of sweet vintage rock ‘n’ roll guitar licks.
Smith Street Band: We owe one of the best moments of Splendour in The Grass to these god damn legends, who belted out their majestically titled anti-Abbott tune 'Wipe That Shit-Eating Grin Off Your Punchable Face' in front of this powerful banner. Now's the perfect time for the country to hear that message once more.