My fellow Australians. Unlike sharks, people smugglers and Johnny Depp, Canada has never really done anything too bad to wrong us.
Until now, that is.
Arnold Vierson is a conservative white dude Straight Outa Canada, who’s seen fit to inflict one of the most cringeworthy rap videos of all time upon the internet, and his country must be held responsible.
More painful than getting gored to death by a moose, this Canadian MP’s inexplicable attempt to win the conservative party leadership by challenging his rivals to a rap battle is 2 minutes and 36 seconds worth of pure hell.
From his awkward wickety-wack hand gestures, to his dated slang, to his dank meme fails, to his Dilbert-meets-the-Fresh-Prince-Of-Bel-Air steez, Vierson’s flow is about as graceful and successful as a drunk beaver attempting to build a mud dam at Niagara Falls.
In conclusion, this is a low point in Canadian culture as a whole and everyone here is now dumber for having listened to it.
You’re on two strikes now, Canada. The world can’t afford another Arnold Vierson or William Shatner singing Mr. Tambourine Man.
You’re just lucky you gave us Drake, eh?