Taking Your Daughter To A P!nk Concert Is Not Bad Parenting, Rules US Judge

Occasional rock chick P!nk has somehow found herself at the centre of an ugly custody battle between two divorcees in the US.

It all started when a bitter New Jersey husband, whom we can only assume wears a sterling silver crucifix around his neck at all times to ward off vampires and Gene Simmons, accused his wife of child abuse for taking their 12-year-old daughter to a P!nk concert.

The alleged crime took place in December 2013, when the mother accompanied her preteen to see the So What popstar’s performance in Newark. According to court documents, the righteous patriarch believed that the P!nk show was age-inappropriate for his young daughter, citing P!nk’s tendency to occasionally use naughty language, dance provocatively and acknowledge that sex actually exists as a thing that people do, as evidence.

Court documents stated, “[The father] contends that the performance was age inappropriate… due to alleged lyrical profanities in some of P!nk’s songs, as well what plaintiff contends were sexually suggestive themes and dance performances during the show.”

In response to the allegations, and proving himself to be a constitutional badass, state Superior Court Judge Lawrence Jones quoted lines from Gone With the Wind, and referenced Elvis Presley, The Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan, to deliver his final ruling that the girl’s mum “in no way, shape or form exceeded the boundaries of reasonable parental judgment” in taking her to the show.

In a 37-page document of judicial whoop-ass, the judge states:

“[The mother’s] decision did not subject the child to any unreasonable risk of harm, or compromise [her] health, safety or welfare. To the contrary, when all the smoke from the custody litigation clears, it will be self-evident that all which happened here is that a young girl went to her first rock concert with her mother and had a really great time.”

Jones also touches on other historical incidents when rock music has upset adults, explores parental advisory stickers, and even breaks down the empowering lyrics of P!nk singles like The Great Escape and Perfect in his legal rationale.

“Perhaps most important, however, is the fact that [the daughter] enjoyed a parent/child night out together, sharing an experience which was clearly very important to the child in her young life,” he concluded.

“In this day and age, it is easy for parents to put off important bonding experiences with their children until a tomorrow which simply never comes”.

“The positive value of this experience is not diluted in any fashion merely because there may have been some incidental curse words or allegedly suggestive themes during some of the songs at the concert.”

Case. Dismissed.

Watch: Pink – The Great Escape

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