After a healthy bit of foreplay, Guns N’ Roses‘ 2017 Australian tour is finally locked and loaded like a freight train.
The gang’s back together – well, at least the classic trio of Slash, Duff & Axl Rose – and they’re poised to assault Aussie stages for the first time in almost 25 years.
But in case you’re feeling some uncertainty about what GnFnR’s Not In This Lifetime reunion tour might hold in store, allow us to serve up 13 savvy, fact-based predictions.
And to help moderate your turntness levels, we’ve also gone to the trouble of rating said predictions in terms of likelihood, using a highly scientific rating system of ‘Slash Hats’ out of five, as such:
= not very likely
= basically certain
Next February is still a long way off, so if you’re struggling to use just a little Patience, here are some entrées to whet your appetites for destruction.
Catch 13 things that could legitimately happen on GNR’s 2017 Australian tour, below.
1. Wolfmother will support
Likelihood rating:
The ’70s-inspired Sydney hard rock animals have already been named to support the Gunners on a handful of their reunion tour dates in the US, which puts them in killer stead for the coveted Aussie tour support slot.
Plus, their frontman Andrew Stockdale and Slash are mad bros, having previously collaborated on the top-hatted Les Paul-slinger’s 2010 solo track, By The Sword (hello, live collab?)
Watch: Slash – By The Sword (feat. Andrew Stockdale)
2. Rose Tattoo will support
Likelihood rating:
Even more likely is the prospect that Rose Tattoo will lube up the stage for GNR on their forthcoming Aussie dates. Not only were the Sydney rock veterans a huge influence on Gunners when they were first coming up through the LA scene, they’ve also supported on almost all of their Aussie tours to date, including their last run of Down Under shows in 2013 with the Chinese Democracy lineup, and during their historic Use Your Illusion tour back in ’93 (apparently at Gunners’ own request).
Watch: Rose Tattoo – All For One Live In Sydney 2013 (supporting Guns N’ Roses)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feSw7W6Lxfc
3. Angry Anderson will appear in some way, shape or form
Likelihood rating:
Even in the event that Rose Tattoo aren’t recruited to support, it’s likely that GNR will still bust out their old pal Angry Anderson for a rendition of Nice Boys (Don’t Play Rock ‘n’ Roll), which featured on their 1986 Live Like a Suicide EP (Angry has played the track live in Australia with both Axl and Slash on numerous separate occasions, so this one’s basically a gimme).
Watch: Guns N’ Roses (feat. Angry Anderson) – Nice Boys Live In Brisbane 2013
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rd2HSsQP80Q
4. AC/DC’s Angus Young will make a cameo
Likelihood rating:
It happened at Coachella, so why not in Angus’s own bloody homeland? The Sydney-based guitar legend joined Gunners onstage during their headlining performance at the Californian festival for a rendition of Whole Lotta Rosie, the classic AC/DC tune that Gunners began infamously covering live in the late ’80s.
Besides, Youngy probably owes Axl a favour or two after he filled in for Brian Johnson during a stack of Acca Dacca’s Rock Or Bust world tour dates this year. And with the future of the Aussie rock titans now up in the air, everyone’s favourite grown-up schoolboy could have plenty of time on his hands by next Feb.
Watch: Guns N’ Roses w/ Angus Young – Whole Lotta Rosie Live @ Coachella 2016
5. Norman Gunston Will Return To Top His Last GNR Interview
Likelihood rating:
Garry McDonald, or should we say Norman Gunston, gave easily one of the greatest Guns N’ Roses interviews of all time when the band toured Down Under off the Use Your Illusion albums back in ’93. Like Mothra awakening from hibernation to take on Godzilla, we can only hope that the legendary Aussie LOLwizard will similarly reappear to take on the reunited band for round two in 2016. Australia is waiting, Norm.
6. The show will actually start on time
Likelihood rating:
Defying a not-so-proud tradition of extreme tardiness courtesy of rock n’ roll’s most notorious dilly-dallier W. Axl Rose, Guns N’ Roses have actually been taking to the stage pretty much bang-on sched during their US reunion tour dates so far, with some reviewers even praising them for kicking things off a couple of minutes early (!) So chances are they won’t be testing your Patience. Yeah, yeah!
7. And it will start like this…
Likelihood rating:
Unless Gunners are planning to seriously shake things up between the US and Aussie legs of their
Not In This Lifetime tour, then a comparative analysis of all of their reunion setlists to date tells us that – prior to assuming the stage to kick off their set with their Appetite belter It’s So Easy – the band will first gee up the crowd with a rendition of the Loony Toons theme (ICYMI: Slash is a big Pepe Le Pu fan) before blasting Harry Gregson Williams’ theme from The Equalizer. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vymkWZYyBf0
8. And it’ll go til past midnight
Likelihood rating:
Gunners haven’t been half-arsing it, folks. Glowing reviews have all their US shows so far not only starting on time, but also totalling between two-and-a-half and three hours’ duration (with setlists averaging about 24 songs) and finishing up well past Cinderella’s pumpkin curfew.
The obvious thing that could prevent this from happening is an earlier kick-off time, which, let’s face it, would be totally in line with our country’s penchant for overzealous nanny state-ism *cough* lockout laws *cough*, but either way, let’s hope our public transport system is prepared.
9. The set will be heavy on covers & Appetite era songs
Likelihood rating:
So far, Gunners’ setlists have been choccas with choons from their seminal 1987 album/single greatest rock album of all time Appetite For Destruction, including (at the bare minimum) It’s So Easy, Welcome To The Jungle, Nightrain, Mr. Brownstone, Rocket Queen, Sweet Child O’ Mine and Paradise City.
There’s been a healthy dose of Use Your Illusion in the mix with a sprinkling of Chinese Democracy to boot, but the sets have also been packed full of plenty of classic GNR covers – namely Paul McCartney’s Live And Let Die, Dylan’s Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door, Misfits’ Attitude and Slash’s iconic Godfather love theme guitar solo, plus a few optional extras like The Who’s The Seeker, Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here and Hendrix’s Voodoo Child.
Watch: Slash – Love Theme From The Godfather Live In Detroit 2016
10. And finish with a big encore
Likelihood rating:
According to their touring setlists so far, Gunners are averaging a three-to-four song strong encore each night, which invariably ends in classic fashion with the monster feelgood anthem/shredfest Paradise City, plus pyrotechnics and a confetti shower. Oh won’t you please take me hooooooooooooooooooooome!
Watch: Guns N’ Roses – Paradise City Live In Massachusetts 2016
11. Axl will do the snake dance
Likelihood rating:
We’ll eat our five Slash hats if this does not happen.
12. There’ll be a fully blown Appetite-era lineup reunion
Likelihood rating:
OK, so this one’s a real long shot. It almost happened in Cincinnati last month, when GNR wheeled out one of the only two remaining MIA members of the classic 1986 roster, Steven fuckin’ Adler. The Estranged beatman joined his old bandmates on stage at the end of their main set, kicking Frank Ferrer out from behind the kit to perform two Appetite-era tracks, Out Ta Get Me and My Michelle. And, naturally, diehard fans lots their shit.
It also got tongues wagging again about the possibility that iconic rhythm guitar slinger – and gypsy pirate punk fashion trailblazer – Izzy Stradlin might also be waiting in the wings for the right moment to appear onstage with the band and blow our collective minds.
The possibility of this happening right now is anyone’s guess; despite early chatter suggesting that Izzy could be involved in the reunion in some way, he’s since ruled himself out (at least for their first run of shows), and Axl recently confiscated a fan’s sign at one of the band’s US concerts that read: “Where’s Izzy?”
Of course, the whole thing could totally be an elaborate ruse designed to bring our guards down before… BAM! Fully blown Appetite reunion out of nowhere!
But then again, if that did happen, then chances are it’d be in their hometown of LA, not Australia… But still, we can dream…
13. Our minds will be blown anyway
Likelihood rating:
Look, it ain’t 1993 anymore and Guns N’ Roses certainly ain’t spring chickens, but what they’ve lost in youth and rebellious danger they’ve made up for – by all accounts – in professionalism, quality musicianship and a newfound respect for their fans.
Unlike the band’s Aussie shows of the past – on the subject of which it wasn’t uncommon for terms like “disaster” and “disappointment” to be used – you won’t have to wait three hours for these performances to start, you won’t have to worry about the evening ending prematurely two songs deep into the set because Axl’s chucked some kind of man-tanty, you won’t have to wonder why you’ve forked out all this money when the band are up onstage looking like they DGAF, and you won’t find yourself wondering why Slash keeps hitting bung notes while two roadies sit poised in the shadows waiting to grab him if he collapses from alcohol poisoning.
Nope. Axl’s vocals are firing, the band has been collectively tighter than a pair of its frontman’s old biker shorts, multiple reviewers have noted that the dudes actually seem to be having a genuinely good-ass time together on stage, and they’ve got the blockbuster production to back it up and make sure the whole experience is all kinds of unforgettable for their fans.
So yeah. Watch it bring you to your (shanananananananana) knees.
Catch Guns N’ Roses full list of 2017 Australian tour dates here.
Watch: Guns N’ Roses – Welcome To The Jungle
