Fiona Apple recently made headlines after being arrested for possession of weed and hash while touring in Texas, and then proceeded to make waves with her onstage comments about the ordeal. Apple, who is touring behind her critically acclaimed new record The Idler Wheel…, threatened four officers from Hudspeth County Sheriff’s Office that if provoked she’d make them public figures for their actions which Apple described as “inappropriate and probably illegal.”
“I heard everything you did, I wrote it all down, with your names, with everything you did or said stupidly thinking that I couldn’t hear or see you… I’ll make you fucking famous, anytime you ask,” Apple warned the police in front a very receptive crowd.
Not content to allow Apple to have the final word, Hudspeth County Sheriff’s Office has fired back at the songstress via an open letter written by HCSD Public Information Officer Rusty Fleming. Fleming, who claims to be more famous then Apple in the letter’s first line, doesn’t hold back in the public statement. Acting as a spokesperson for the Hudspeth County Sheriff’s Office, Fleming says Apple should be grateful for the publicity she has received due to her arrest and should have been aware of the potential of being taken into custody at the infamous Texas border stop, which has a history of incarcerating musicians that like the sticky-icky.
Fleming does actually go on to offer some kind words about Apple before then successfully summarising the overall message of the letter with the simple line of ‘Shut Up and Sing’. While we wait to see if Apple will respond, as promised you can read the entire letter originally published by TMZ below.
Read: Hudspeth County Sheriff’s Dept. Public Information Officer Rusty Fleming Open Letter to Fiona Apple:
First, Honey, I’m already more famous than you, I don’t need your help. However, it would appear that you need mine.
The letter continues, Two weeks ago nobody in the country cared about what you had to say, — now that you’ve been arrested it appears your entire career has been jump-started. Don’t worry Sweetie, I won’t bill you.
Next, have you ever heard of Snoop, Willie or Armand Hammer? Maybe if you would read something besides your own press releases, you would have known BEFORE you got here, that if you come to Texas with dope, the cops will take your DOPE away and put YOU in jail.
Even though you and I only met briefly in the hallway, I don’t know you but I’m sure you’re an awesome and talented young woman and even though I’m not a fan of yours, I am sure there are thousands of them out there, and I’m sure that they would just as soon you get this all behind you and let you go back to what you do best—so my last piece of advice is simple “just shut-up and sing”.