Heaps Of Aussie Festival-Goers Don’t Know How To Use Condoms Properly, Study Finds

Music festival attendees are getting a bad wrap, with a new study finding that a bunch of y’all don’t know how to properly wrap a tallywhacker.


Medical students from the University Of Western Sydney recently interviewed 290 punters aged between 18 and 29 at a New South Wales music festival, and discovered that a whopping 33 per cent weren’t confident in their lightsabre-sheathing skillz.


“Around 34 per cent of interviewees reported consuming at least ten drinks in the past 24 hours. Not surprisingly, this group was more than twice as likely to feel confident about their ability to use condoms correctly,” says Franklin John-Leader, co-chair of the North Coast Positive Adolescent Sexual Health Consortium.

But despite 77 per cent of respondents expressing potentially drunken confidence with their franga-wrangling prowess, researchers reckon a “significant number” had nonetheless used condoms “inconsistently or incorrectly” over the past year, resulting in “high annual rates of condom failures during intercourse”.

Crunching the numbers, 37 per cent had experienced condom breakage in the past year, 48 per cent had seen a condom slip off during the deed, while 51 per cent reported the same thing happening when withdrawing their love wand after sex o’clock.

Researchers reckon that such poor penis-sheathing practices spell “significant risks of sexually transmitted infections, specifically chlamydia and HIV”, as well as “unwanted pregnancies” for punters in this age bracket, and highlight “the need for health promotion campaigns targeting this cohort”.

“To our knowledge this is the first study to demonstrate that young Australian festival attendees, as an identified risk group, may be experiencing a significantly higher rate of problems when using condoms,” says University Centre for Rural Health researcher Dr Sabrina Pit.

She adds that — as well as not knowing how to correctly cape their superman — 94 per cent of festival-goers also admitted to having been under the influence of drugs or alcohol during sex some time in the past year, while 19 per cent reported being under the influence “most of the time” or “always” when riding the express train to boner town.

“Despite reasonable levels of confidence in their ability to use condoms, inconsistent use and a high rate of condom failure put this population at an increased risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections, specifically chlamydia,” she says.

“This study has implications for sexual health promotion and public health programs, and targeting future interventions toward this group may be of value. There is a need to empower young Australians, particularly females, with knowledge and confidence in order to improve condom use.”

In short, y’all need to learn how to correctly slap goggles on your one-eyed wonder weasel, because Violent Soho tunes aren’t always the catchiest thing at Aussie music festivals, ya hear?


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