Forget about balaclavas and sacks with dollar signs on them: lensless-glasses, awkward hats, ironically daggy clothing, and a smug sense of self-satisfaction seem to be all you need to rob a bank these days.
Police are currently on the hunt for a repeat offender known as the Hipster Bandit who remains unidentified after robbing two separate banks in Northeast Portland. On the first occasion, he handed over a letter of demand before leaving with an unknown amount of cash, then claimed he had a concealed weapon the next time, and once again made it out with the cheese.
The suspect is described as around 5’8, potentially of white or Asian background, aged in his 20s to early 30s, and according to Fox 5 Vegas, was wearing a dark ski hat, glasses, dark clothing and carrying a messenger bag. Staff at both banks said the man looked like a ‘hipster’. They would be correct.
I wonder if, given the Media’s tendency to take a small story and take it all the way to Mars, hipsters could be the next ‘gang’ to be profiled by the FBI as a dangerous unconventional crime gang, much like they did after a few bad apples ruined it all for Juggalos. Imagine seeing that, hipsters and Juggalos in a turf war.
Society will be the overall winner in that fight. Or do we lose? Either way, I’d love to see them have at it, make up and ironic clothing items flying all over the place.
