Barbariön, a Melbourne heavy metal band with Viking-inspired attire, have put up their collective hands to represent Australia at Eurovision 2015.
Following news earlier this week that Australia will send an act to perform in the grand final of Eurovision, the industry has been mulling over who it will send to compete in Austria. Thankfully, Barbariön believe they have the solution.
“This herculean responsibility must not be handed to the likes of Shannon Noll, Olivia Newton-John, Sia (whoever that is) or Ricki-Lee,” the band have written in an open letter (below) to Eurovision broadcaster SBS, which has been posted to Facebook.
“Their feeble frames will be crushed by the weight of the task. Prince Phillip and his knighthood will chortle and mock us from afar whilst our collective nation moans begrudgingly at another squandered opportunity.
“There is however another choice. A choice that will unite the nation, boost the economy and establish a tourism boom like never before! A choice that will once again inspire the terrific people of the South Pacific to hold their heads high and proud, in awe of what the little country down under can do when they put their minds to it.
“That choice is BARBARION. Cometh the hour, cometh the men.”
In other Eurovision news, Aussie seven-piece TISM also look like they have a slight-but-probably-nonexistent chance to represent the country at the event, after their frontman today said that he would perform, but for a price.
Barbariön, on the other hand, seem to be in it for the glory, and have extra time on their hands since the metal musical they were set to appear in — The Legend of Dio: A Metal Musical, inspired by the life of Ronnie James Dio — was shut down by Dio’s label earlier this month due to licensing issues.
Read Barbariön’s full letter, below.
Watch: Barbariön – My Rock
Gallery: 13 Acts Australia Should Send To Eurovision (But Probably Won’t)
Barbariön – Letter to SBS Australia
Dear SBS Australia,
Congratulations on securing a spot for Australia in Eurovision 2015, this is the opportunity our country has been waiting for. The time has come to put all our recent morale crushing political shortcomings behind us and stand proud in the eyes of the world as a country that matters.
This herculean responsibility must not be handed to the likes of Shannon Noll, Olivia Newton-John, Sia (whoever that is) or Ricki-Lee. Their feeble frames will be crushed by the weight of the task. Prince Phillip and his knighthood will chortle and mock us from afar whilst our collective nation moans begrudgingly at another squandered opportunity.
There is however another choice. A choice that will unite the nation, boost the economy and establish a tourism boom like never before! A choice that will once again inspire the terrific people of the South Pacific to hold their heads high and proud, in awe of what the little country down under can do when they put their minds to it.
That choice is BARBARION.
Cometh the hour, cometh the men.
If you agree please like, share, and tag it with your mates. Together we can make Australia great again.
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision
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Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #1
Tkay Maidza - Why she should: She's emblematic of rising Australian talent and would help put an end to the world's clichéd views of Australian art and culture. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #2
Why she won't: Not cliché enough. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #3
Kirin J. Callinan - Why he should: Apart from the fact that he has a killer voice, Kirin J. Callinan's shows are known for being abrasive, surreal and often chaotic, pushing the limits wherever possible. Given the opportunity, Callinan can show the Europeans they're not the only ones with built in quirk. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #4
Why he won't: OK perhaps he's too quirky, even for Eurovision. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #5
Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunupingu - Why he should: We have a captive audience on the world stage, a perfect platform to share the beautiful voice and music of a treasured Indigenous Australian. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #6
Why he won’t: Not enough sequins. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #7
TISM - Why they should: The people have spoken, give them what they want. -
Tism
Why they won’t: Presently, they're broken up. (You might be able to change that though…) -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #9
Nick Cave - Why he should: No one can command a theatrical stage like our man Nick and in terms of European fans he's got them. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #10
Why he won't: Too Brechtian for Eurovision. Still there's always the cameo option, if Kylie gets it. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #11
B1 and/or B2 - Why they should: They're national treasures goddammit and with those cuts to the ABC they're going to need some international exposure. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #12
Why they won't: If the Dustin The Turkey experience taught us anything, it's that the Eurovision is not kind to puppets. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #13
Empire of the Sun - The Australia electro pop kings know how to put together a visual feast of a stage show. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #14
Why they won't: It's likely they won't stick to Eurovision's maximunm of 6 people on stage rule. Plus no-one can find Nick Littlemore. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #15
The Red Paintings - Why they should: Experimental art rock is their game and the Geelong act know how to work a costume department and a crowd, known for getting the audience up on stage to paint on human canvases during their shows. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #16
Why they won't: Eurovision's not really big on the whole "audience participation" thing. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #17
Hiatus Kaiyote - Why they should: They're a Grammy-nominated Australian future-soul band with a huge international following. Their music borrows ingredients from far-reaching places across the world and throws them together to create a distinctive soul-infused sound, like no other. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #18
Why they won't: Hiatus Kaiyote's future soul stylings might just be too out of this world, even for Eurovision. And there's no way they'll be able to stick to that 3 minute song time limit. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #19
Tripod - Why they should: They’re the perfect musical representation of our typically dry humour, and the idea of three laid back middle-aged smart arses singing about the Girl In The Comic Book Shop amongst the often deadly serious Euros speaks to our penchant for disrupting the status quo. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #20
Why they won’t: Eurovision might be populated by a bunch of dags, but it’s just not the same if you’re aware of how daggy you actually are. Sorry, guys. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #21
Courtney Barnett - Why she should: If you're after the quintessential Australian voice, Courtney Barnett has it and it's wonderful. She's a modern Australian storyteller, stringing together narratives with signature deadpan puns. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #22
Why she won't: Given it's our first year competing, maybe we should ease up on the Aussie puns. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #23
LOL -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #24
Ne Obliviscaris - Why they should: This Melbourne outfit are one of our most promising metal exports. Their dark, dramatic visage and cinematic brand of orchestral thrash proves that Aussies can metal with the best that Europe has to offer. -
Who Australia Should But Probably Won’t Send To Eurovision #25
Why they won’t: Mainstream Australia might shrivel into their couches and turn to dust when they discover Aussie heavy metal bands with this much flair actually exist.
