Love Letter To A Record: CXLOE On BANKS’ ‘The Altar’

Many of us can link a certain album to pivotal moments in our lives. Whether it’s the first record you bought with your own money, the chord you first learnt to play on guitar, the song that soundtracked your first kiss, the album that got you those awkward and painful pubescent years or the one that set off light bulbs in your brain and inspired you to take a big leap of faith into the unknown – music is often the catalyst for change in our lives and can even help shape who we become.

In this series, Music Feeds asks artists to reflect on their relationship with music and share with us stories about the effect music has had on their lives.

CXLOE – BANKS: ‘The Altar’

The first time I heard you I was driving along the beachside in Sydney and felt like someone slapped me in the face. I had been searching for you for years as an artist. Something to kick me into gear and prove to me that I don’t need to follow any confines as an artist and I can go as deep and raw as I want. The Altar perfectly mirrors my marriage to you; a complex, dark, and sensual relationship that you can’t leave even if you tried.

‘Fuck em only we know’ – this track took me to an entirely other place. Often as an artist (and human) I feel like I’m misunderstood and this song made me feel like I wasn’t alone. The arpeggio intro coupled with the lyrics “fuck ’em only we know” has such beauty to it, contrasted with these hard lyrics. As an artist this entices me so much. Drawing this listener in sonically, and then hitting them in the guts with some hard cutting lyrics to bring them back in.

I remember stopping at traffic lights and my entire body came to a holt when ‘Weaker Girl’ started playing. Your calm beginnings and enticing synth prepared me for a ballad. You always do this to me, prepare me for something then pull the rug from beneath my feet. As soon as the half time drum beat came in coupled with the lyrics “imma need a bad mother fucker like me” it again reiterated that as an artist I don’t need to hold back. I don’t need to box myself for anyone. I can write what I want to write and sing what I want to sing.

So I thank you for this. I thank you for opening my eyes to see that there are no boundaries. And to back myself. Even when everyone says different. To trust my gut and believe in the love story that is, CXLOE.

CXLOE’s new single ‘I Can’t Have Nice Things’ is out now. Listen here.

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