“Do I feel like taking a shit when I’m onstage?” Brooklyn’s king of death rap Necro asks me. Having started out playing guitar in metal bands before his brother Ill Bill convinced him to try his hand at hip hop, Necro is a man apart in the world of hip hop, embracing metal imagery and art as well as the genre’s brutal attitude and approach to performance.

“Who doesn’t,” he continues as I remain mute in confusion, having never asked such a question. “The number one thing I would like to do is shit on stage, but I don’t think people want to see that show. If people wanted it I wouldn’t have a problem delivering it, but it doesn’t pay the bills, know what I mean?”

I assure him I do as I try to erase the image of him squatting onstage and uncoiling a weighty length of brown rope. Attempting to steer him away from the faecal focus the interview started with, I ask what’s been keeping him busy lately.

“What’s been keeping me from breaking my girls neck after sex? Nothing’s really been keeping me actually, maybe it’s just the little devil in my head telling me ‘don’t don’t don’t she might suck your dick again’. There’s always a fucking problem when it comes to me figuring out whether I want to break her neck, but you know we want to stay civilised on tour.”

“Is that hard?” I ask. “It’s not hard for me to stay civilised because I’m a pure gentleman; it’s just a fact that I have urges. When I see a female’s head my first instinct is to stick a bottle down her mouth just to see how far it can go down her throat, that’s only natural shit to do you know. I’m a pure gentleman though, I would never stick the bottle in her mouth or asshole without asking, it’s just that I’m so persuasive that after I ask as a gentleman they always agree. Women let me do whatever I want to them.”

Feeling a bit offended as well as somewhat aroused I’m eager to keep the interview moving. Our conversation moves on to discussing the commercial hip hop industry and of course mister sunglasses, Kayne West.

“Kanye, you know Kanye can rap. He’s ok you know, he knows how to make a beat and he can do all that but I don’t appreciate these awful faggots and I think he’s a homosexual. I think he’s an undercover faggot, I think he eats cock and I think any man that sports pink takes it up their ass and I think he’s in to that. He dresses like a homosexual, he acts like a homosexual and he supports homosexuals so you know yeah he can rap a little bit but so can a lot of faggots.”

At this point I’m pretty much giving up trying to control the interview, instead choosing to let Necro’s mind wander hoping it will wander away from the current focus of sexism and homophobia.

He last visited Australia in 2007, leaving a trail of raving fans as well as a hearty amount of understandably outraged people. “People should expect no energy at all, nothing,” he tells me of his upcoming shows in Australia. “When I do my show I’m going to be very lazy, I’m coming on stage high. You should expect me to fall over by the second song and just fall asleep on stage. This is what I want everybody to expect. Don’t expect a good show, I’m not coming to Australia for that this time, I’m coming to sleep on stage.”

Assuming he’s taking the piss, I start to talk to him about why he started making hip hop music and what keeps him in the business today.

“I got in to fuck bitches all day and night,” he exclaims in response, with a sort of ‘what do you think’ tone in his voice. “Of course money is nice too you know and fans and writing good rap songs and all that but I would say nice pussy is good. Remember though, nice pussy is rare, most pussy smells so I’m talking about the good shit you know. Like good weed, hot pussy is hard to find.”

“Like, I would like to fuck that girl from Twilght, you know Kristin Stewart,” he continues, ignoring my interruptions. “I don’t know why, there’s something about her that makes me want to make a whore out of her. I want to fuck her asshole you know, I want to see what she’s about naked. If she’s not on point I could abuse her you know like ‘you fucking whore. Go make me some fucking food you bitch. You big star, Twilight yeah ok I’ll show you Twilight you little fucking cunt.’ She doesn’t really have the most banging body though, there’s just something about her you know, I want to cum in her fucking face.”

Again attempting to shift the conversation away from all things degrading, I ask about his love of guitar. “Musically I do stuff for the art and guitar is a wonderful thing and I love guitar especially from a metal perspective. So it was definitely more than just bitches when it came to playing guitar but it always helps to impress a bitch if you can play some good shit,” he confides.

“Anything that gets the bitch interested in being the whore she was meant to be. A lot of times they don’t want to act like the whores they were meant to be, they want to act like they’re bigger than that. I know they’re lawyers, they’re doctors, no no no no, you’re a dick sucker and I’m going to get you to fucking realise you’re a dick sucker, somehow.”

“Now to get them into that mode that they were naturally meant to be, it requires a little brainwashing. Like you run into a lawyer she’s like, “oh, I’m a lawyer” you know, she’s not going to suck a dick, she’s a lawyer! So you play guitar and she’s like ‘oh you’re so good on guitar,” now she’s realising she’s a dick sucker. Then you give her some liquor and she’s getting drunk and she’s a drunk dick sucker.”

“In the end of the day you gotta do what you gotta do to get her down to be what she was meant to be. They’ll deny it all day saying they’re not this, they’re not that but in the end of the day every female lawyer on this planet is sucking some dick somewhere. But they get offended if you call them a dick sucker. I wouldn’t get offended if someone called me a pussy licker. Like ‘hey Necro, you’re a pussy licker.” Damn right.”

Feeling like I’m going to be lynched for this (even though I am laughing my arse off by this point) I try and wrap up the interview by asking Necro if there’s anything he wants to say to his Australian fans.

“I want to tell all the dick suckers in Australia to get ready,” he tells me as I start drafting the disclaimer to put on the article. “I’m bringing my dick with me so all the young female dick suckers, get your mouths ready. Not the male dick suckers though, they can deal with Kanye.”

Please don’t write to us about this, we know it’s offensive.

Catch Necro when he plays Manning Bar, Sydney, Saturday May 30, Hyde Park, Perth, Thursday June 4 and HQ, Adelaide, Friday June 5

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