FeaturesWritten by Greg Moskovitch on April 29, 2014
In what we, for all intents and purposes, will refer to as “the real world,” disputes and arguments start for all manner of reasons. Some are silly, trivial, and quickly resolved, while others are deep-rooted, mean-spirited, and can quickly turn into a longstanding rivalry or animosity between parties.
In the music world, things are similar, in that disputes occur for a myriad of reasons, but they’re different in that sometimes those reasons are just bat-shit insane and really begin to stretch the realms of common sense. And there’s also the fact that both parties have the ear of the public.
With many presently ensconced in the feud between Montreal art rockers Arcade Fire and electronic producer and fellow Canadian Deadmau5 over what one of them said on stage one time, Music Feeds has gathered 11 beefs that fall into that petty, childish, and lame category.
Gallery: The 11 Lamest Feuds In Music
Wayne Coyne vs Arcade Fire: While to most, Flaming Lips frontman Wayne Coyne is an affable, Willy Wonky-type figure with his head perpetually in the clouds, when it comes to interviews, he's known to be kind of a dick, particularly to other bands, and particularly to Arcade Fire, saying the Montreal band are "pompous" and “really treat people like shit.”
Wayne Coyne vs Arcade Fire (cont.): Arcade Fire frontman Win Butler responded to Coyne's comments in a blog post, turning the tables on his "pompous" label and explaining why he might've thought the band treated others poorly. Coyne responded by retracting his comments, only to later claim that what he said was "absolutely the truth."
Rated Lame For: Coyne's seemingly constant and out-of-the-blue attacks on other bands are lame to begin with, but here in particular he comes off as childish, inconsistent, and totally lame.
Miley Cyrus vs Radiohead: The story goes that this bitter feud was sparked after Miley was about four dressing rooms away from Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke the night of the '09 Grammys. Miley promptly asked her manager to reach out to the UK indie veterans' people to see if they could arrange an introduction, insisting she would cry if she ever got a chance to meet the band, to which Radiohead's manager responded, "We don't really do that."
Miley Cyrus vs Radiohead (cont.): While this would come as little shock to say, anyone who knew anything about Radiohead, Miley was incensed, having allegedly already told her friends that she could introduce them to the band. So hurt was Miley by the band's snub that she slammed them as "Stinkin' Radiohead!" and insisted that she was "gonna ruin them." The band's rep then released a statement saying, "When Miley grows up, she'll learn not to have such a sense of entitlement."
Rated Lame For: Miley stomping her feet because a band isn't able to meet her right before a Grammys performance and then referring to them as "Stinkin' Radiohead" and having the gall to claim she will "ruin them."
Azealia Banks vs Disclosure: At this point, there's almost no one that Azealia Banks hasn't engaged in a feud. This one started after she tweeted that she'd had an "amazing session" with UK EDM duo Disclosure, which the boys soon refuted, claiming they really just sat around eating sushi. These comments lead Banks to claim she was scrapping the track because the pair were "really rude in an interview."
Azealia Banks vs Disclosure (cont.): After changing her tune about the "amazing session," saying she had better material on her album, the Howard brothers appeared on Triple J's Tom & Alex where they joked about the situation and generally poked fun at Banks' oversensitivity. Meanwhile, Howard explained that his "sushi" comments were a result of the pair's typical secrecy when it comes to collaborations.
Rated Lame For: Just where the hell did this one come from? Apparently telling interviewers your alleged "amazing session" wasn't so amazing is "really rude," and appropriate response to scrap the track and claim you may release it as an "F-side, a fuck-you side."
98 Degrees vs 5ive: When asked who the worst boy band of the '90s were, 98 Degrees' Nick Lachey named 5ive, and claimed that the UK group "had it out" for his band when touring together years ago. 5ive's Abz took exception to Lachey's barb, telling TMZ that 98D "suck ass" and that 5ive were the "bad boys of pop... always looking for trouble" and 98D "just got in our way."
98 Degrees vs 5ive (cont.): Speaking to VH1, Lachey apologised to Abz and the members of 5ive, and clarified his comments, saying, "When asked who the worst band of the '90s was I said 5ive and that's absolutely not true. 5ive is actually the worst boy band of all time."
Rated Lame For: Did we mention this all happened last month? Two equally faceless '90s boy bands sparked a beef long after both had receded from cultural relevance and they did it by making comments to Bravo, TMZ and VH1, respectively.
M.I.A. vs Lynn Hirschberg: This one got a lot of press and will forever be known as the 'Truffle-Flavoured French Fry Incident'.
In 2010, writer Lynn Hirschberg profiled M.I.A. for New York Times Magazine, depicting the fiercely political and individualist rapper as a querulous and naive first-semester uni kid who eats elitist french fries while musing on the rampant materialism of the Western world and the plight of Sri Lanka's Tamil people.
M.I.A. vs Lynn Hirschberg (cont.): In response to Hirschberg's harsh article -- which while it made some fairly sobering points and intriguing observations, seemed to descend more and more into a run-of-the-mill takedown piece as it went along -- the fiercely political and individualist rapper decided to release Hirschberg's phone number on Twitter and shared an audio recording that proved Hirschberg in fact ordered the fries.
Rated Lame For: We call lame for Hirschberg's overly editorialising article, M.I.A.'s immature doxing, and the fact that this could all have been settled with a simple "Fuck the haterz!" tweet.
Flo Rida vs Diplo: Diplo became irate after viewing Flo Rida's 'Can’t Believe It' video, alleging it's similarity to his own video for 'Butter’s Theme'. It makes sense as both clips employed the novel concept of having women show their rear ends in a rap video. Diplo quickly took to Twitter, slamming Rida as a "fuck ass fuckboi for ripping off my video" and insisting that he would fight him in a street fight.
Flo Rida vs Diplo (cont.): After threatening to "toilet paper the trees in front of Flo Rida’s mansion" and having Rida himself respond by thanking God that he "can afford a mansion."
Rated Lame For: Eventually, the UK producer sort of calmed down about the whole thing and promptly returned to Twitter to admit that his beef with Flo Rida is "kinda lame." In this case, props must be given for self-awareness.
The Killers vs The Bravery: When Nirvana exploded in the early '90s, labels couldn't sign grunge bands fast enough. When The Killers were rocking the charts in the early '00s, a similar phenomenon took place, and it really seemed to stick in the craw of the band's frontman Brandon Flowers, who reserved particular vitriol for NY's The Bravery.
The Killers vs The Bravery (cont.): "They’re signed because we’re a band," Flowers told MTV, while attacking the band's previous incarnation as a ska band. In the same interview, Flowers praised Franz Ferdinand, whose frontman happened to have once been in a ska band. Bravery frontman Sam Endicott responded by calling Flowers "a little girl" and "a kid in a wheelchair."
Rated Lame For: Flowers' utter cluelessness and Endicott's childish response, and for Flowers later allegedly admitting the whole thing stemmed from jealousy on his part.
Nelly vs Chingy: By the time Chingy came onto the scene, Nelly had already established himself as a giant in the rather goofy field of mainstream pop rap. But this didn't stop him from feeling like Chingy was encroaching on his territory as THE St Louis rapper and insisted that Chingy's hit 'Right Thurr' was merely aping his cadence on tracks like 'Hot In Herre'.
Nelly vs Chingy (cont.): Upset with Chingy stealing his favourite syllable and with both claiming to have coined the term "derrty," Nelly aimed a dis track at the rapper in which he attacked his integrity and credibility (we know, right?). The barbs flew back and forth between the two until they made up for the 'Beef III' hip-hop rivalry documentary video.
Rated Lame For: Some rap beefs start over money, some rap beefs start over women, and some start over contract disputes. This one started over a syllable.
Billy Corgan vs Pavement: Pavement bursted onto the scene in 1992, quickly garnering praise for their lo-fi sound and frontman Stephen Malkmus' sarcastic and ironic lyrics, including these from the single 'Range Life' off the band's sophomore album: "Out on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins / Nature kids, I they don't have no function / I don't understand what they mean / And I could really give a fuck".
Billy Corgan vs Pavement (cont.): Corgan maturely responded by first having Pavement thrown off the Lollapalooza tour and claiming that Malkmus' characteristically tongue-in-cheek lyrics were in fact "rooted in jealousy." Malkmus insisted his lyrics weren't a dis, that he enjoyed the Pumpkins' music, and that "Billy's gotten over it."
Rated Lame For: Billy showing just how over it he was by sending Twitter jabs Pavement's way almost two decades after the single was released, even launching into a tirade against Pavement as recently as 2012.
Bow Wow vs Lil Romeo: This 'Biggie vs Tupac'-like feud erupted after Bow Wow, then known as Lil Bow Wow, claimed to earn more than Lil Romeo's dad, rapper and mogul Master P, on the track 'Fresh Az I’m Iz' (yes, the song was really called that).
Bow Wow vs Lil Romeo (cont.): Lil Romeo responded to the venomous dis by bringing Master P (who did we mention was his dad?) along to the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards to confront Bow Wow, which saw Bow Wow running to his trailer for safety. Master P even reportedly tried to arrange a boxing match between the two.
Rated Lame For: We're calling lame because Lil Romeo's response is the showbiz equivalent of having your mum beat up a bully for you, and for two adolescents to beef over what was said in a song called 'Fresh Az I’m Iz' is just sad.
Lil Wayne vs Pusha T: In 2006, Weezy appeared on the front cover of Vibe rocking BAPE -- the Japanese streetwear label made popular by Pharrell Williams -- clothes, and had worn them in his 'Hustler Musik' video. Pharrell-produced duo Clipse, allegedly one of the first to rock BAPE threads, soon dispatched a dis track dubbed 'Mr. Me Too' in which they claimed, "Ni--as bite the style from the shoes to the watches."
Lil Wayne vs Pusha T (cont.): This minor dispute soon metastasised into an absurd beef, after Wayne levelled Complex magazine with a tirade in which he alleged that he didn't bite anyone's style and that Clipse only gained notoriety after working with Wayne's label head, Birdman. Pusha then proceeded to drive this beef well and truly into the ground, and continues to mention it in interviews to this day, long after Weezy and everybody else got over it.
Rated Lame For: This is like one of those arguments where it gets so out of hand that neither person can actually remember why it started. We can remember why it started. It started over who wore a clothing brand first.