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Grimes Detailing Her “Workout Routine” Is The Wildest Thing You’ll Read Today

Written by Alex Gallagher on July 17, 2019

Last week, Grimes starred in an Adidas ad campaign for a new, sustainability-focused collection. Now, she’s shared her apparent training regimen, and – joke or not – it is a truly wild read.

“I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximise the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc,” she begins in a caption posted to her Instagram page.

“I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions – past, present and future,” she says.  Other daily routines include a “1-2 hour sword fighting session” and 20-25 minutes of screaming.

Grimes also “revealed” that through an experimental surgery she’s removed the top film of her eyeball and replaced it with an “orange ultra-flex polymer” as a “means to cure seasonal depression.”

She then goes to bed with a humidifier on, which is probably the most normal part of the whole regimen. To close, Grimes hash-tags the post with #gentrifymordor.

It’s pretty bonkers, and the internet seems somewhat divided as to what parts (if any) are legit and what is simply Grimes trolling the spon-con wellness routines of celebs and influencers on platforms like Instagram. Given the artist’s propensity for engaging in internet culture and memes on her Twitter account, the latter seems obvious.

That said, the image of Grimes filling up her days with sword-fighting, screaming sessions, astro-gliding to other dimensions and blocking out depression through eyeball surgery does seem within the realm of possibility. I want to believe, damn it. Rolling Stone have posted a great breakdown of the post, detailing each step and its potential legitimacy.

Take a look at the post for yourself below; Grimes’ fifth album Miss Anthropocene is due out later this year.

 

 

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ADIDAS: Tell us about ur training regimen ? GRIMES: My training is a 360 approach. I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral. From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions – past, present, and future. In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout. I then spend 45 minutes stretching before heading into the studio where my mind and body are functioning at peak level, with a neuroplastic goal between 57.5 and 71.5 AphC’s (which is my preferred range for my blood type). I’ve outfitted my studio with the highest grade of red light. It is pretty much 1000 sqf IR Sauna. Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency. I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression. I go to bed with a humidifier on. #asmc #adidasparley #createdwithadidas #gentrifymordor

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