Noel Gallagher is not a known giver of fucks, but it turns out he is quite a generous giver of shits.
In fact, back in the early days of Oasis, he even shat in his neighbour’s bathtub while he was out burglarising homes with his brother, bandmate and then-partner in petty crime, Liam.
And now, almost two decades later, he’s been forced to issue a public apology.
It all started when a British TV host named Richard Madely recently revealed to Good Morning Britain that the Gallaghers had confessed to robbing him back in the day while carrying out a string of burglaries around their Manchester neighbourhood. And, after hearing the revelation, fellow neighbour Gladys Tomlinson became convinced that she, too, had been victimised by the brothers’ terror.
A new back-page feature in Britain’s Sunday Sport paper details the Oasis duo’s alleged crime spree, as well as an interview with Gladys where she claims that the Gallaghers broke into her house in 1989 and made off with her “knick-knacks and video”.
What’s more, one of them also allegedly took a shit in her bathtub.
“They was beyond the pale,” Gladys alleged, adding: “Pound to a penny that it was one of them that shat in the old bath.”
Explosively, Noel has now owned up to the crime.
Sharing a clip of the newspaper article in question on Instagram, he issued a heartfelt apology to Gladys for his past transgressions.
“It’s a fair cop guv’,” he wrote. “We thought it was Richard Madely’s gaff. Soz Gladys. No offence.”
Hopefully Gladys will forgive him.