The Prince Of Darkness and the Maggot Master himself Corey Taylor have called a special fan conference in Hollywood, where they’ve promised to unveil their big news.
While it’s been hypothesised that Corey (and not some random hairstylist) is the so-called “other woman” at the centre of Ozzy’s recent marital breakdown – and the pair are getting ready to publicly declare their love to the world – the far more likely scenario is that the announcement has something to do with Ozzy’s metal festival Ozzfest and Slipknot’s annual Knotfest.
Specifically, fans are anticipating the genesis of some kind of super-mega-monster Ozzfest/Knotfest hybrid…
…Which begs the question: COULD THE UNIVERSE EVEN HANDLE SUCH A THING?
Or would a clash of such metal titans trigger some kind of repeat Big Bang event and destroy us all?
Either way, it looks like we’ll know by the end of the week.
The only evidence for the theory of an imminent #Knozzfest announcement is that Ozzfest organisers recently teased a special announcement of their own, which has so far yet to materialise.
Whatever the outcome though, the sad reality is that it probably won’t mean all that much for those of us whose water goes down the drain anti-clockwise, unless you’ve been feverishly squirrelling away your cash just in case the biggest heavy metal event of all time was announced on the other side of the world.
Either way, the upshot of this news is that it confirms BS on tabloid reports claiming that Ozzy Osbourne had gone missing after Sharon turfed him out of their mansion.
The Black Sabbath frontman has also just addressed claims that their split had triggered him to relapse into drugs and booze, saying he’s still sober as a bird.
Anyway, we’ll bring you more news on the big announcement when it happens.
UPDATE 13/05/16: As our suspicions confirmed, Slipknot and Ozzy Osbourne have announced an allegiance between each of their festivals, dubbed Ozzfest Meets Knotfest. See the mega lineup here.
Ozzy + Corey invite you to a special announcement on May 12 at the Hollywood Palladium. No lineups prior to 7am. pic.twitter.com/Sdufuefwds
— Slipknot (@slipknot) May 9, 2016
— Ozzy Osbourne (@OzzyOsbourne) May 9, 2016