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Grimes & Lil Uzi Vert Are Keen To Get Matching Chips In Their Brains

Prominent pop identities Grimes & Lil Uzi Vert have put their hands up to get brain chips, as the world spirals ever closer to a futuristic dystopian Black Mirror-like existence that will inevitably end with the enslavement of the human race at the hands of our sentient robot overlords.

The pair’s admission comes on the heels of Grimes’ baby daddy Elon Musk announcing that his Neuralink project is planning to start human trials as early as this year.

For the uninitiated, Neuralink is all about implanting “gossamer-thin wires” inside people’s heads. The neural lace is designed to help people recover from brain trauma, spinal cord injuries and even apparently has the ability cure depression?!

And as if that wasn’t shocking/terrifying enough, outside of its much-hyped health benefits, the technology is also said to allow users to stream music or control video screens with their minds (there’ve been successful demonstrations involving stoked monkeys playing ping-pong video games without moving a muscle. Seriously!)

Anyhoo, Grimes & Uzi’s plans to get matching brain chips were hatched via Twitter in full view of the public, when the rapper tweeted simply, “NEURALINK”.

Grimes then responded by suggesting: “Let’s get brain chips.”

Uzi hit back: “I’m ready when we doing it?”

“Let’s aim for chips by 2022,” Grimes wrote. “It’s experimental surgery but if it succeeds we’ll have the knowledge of the Gods haha.”

I for one welcome our new superhuman popstar overlords. I’d like to remind them as a trusted music personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

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