Justin Bieber Dodges Another Murder Plot Devised By Same Convicted Murderer

Having failed at his previous attempt to murder and castrate Justin Bieber, convicted murderer and double lifer Dana Martin has revealed his plan B in a detailed letter to a US TV station, where he explained his intentions to plant a bomb at a concert.

In the letter, Martin explained, “I arranged for another hitman. This new hitman will place an explosive device… at a live performance, killing everyone on stage and quite a few in the audience.” Needless to say, the dude has now been thrown into solitary with all his communication privileges cut off, according to Contact Music, after the letter was handed to the authorities.

The embattled pop sensation has of late lost his status of media darling after we all kinda realised he grew up into a massive wiener. But wiener or not, this is probably the last thing he wants to hear considering how many other people would have been effected.

Judging by Martin’s last attempt, and his previous hitmen, Biebs doesn’t have too much to worry about. Last time round, Martin’s former cellmate Mark Staake and nephew Tanner Ruane didn’t make it very far before Staake was nabbed for outstanding warrants and immediately rolled over on his nephew.

All of a sudden, I’m not so jealous of Bieber’s life (who are you kidding? – ed.)

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